AWOL

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My mate recently got divorced from his wife. They decided to split the house. He got the outside. #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

My wife packed my bags and told me to leave.As I was headed out the door, she said, “I hope you live a long and lonely life!”I replied, “So now you want me to stay?” #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

Tried to read the dictionary in bed last night.Didn’t finish it. Got up to ‘P’. #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

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“If you’ll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart,” said Tracy, the newlywed bride, “breakfast will be ready.” “Good, what are we having for breakfast?” asked Dewey, the new husband. “Toast and juice,” Tracy replied. #joke Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

If you’re feeling down, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed. It’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning. #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”The husband said, “You are in charge of the cooking around here so you...

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A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.“Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.“Aw, Dad, it’s probably okay,” the son said. “The police car right behind us just did the same thing.” #joke Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net