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Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

An in-depth study will reveal that, contrary to popular belief, bedbugs are great and you are the problem. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

Nothing of note will happen to you this week, as the dozens of people you’ll tell about it will be able to attest.
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Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

Your triumphant exit from the worst job you’ve ever had is spoiled when a wino drenches you in flammable vodka vomit and sets you on fire with a menthol cigarette. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

You are a person of uncommon vision. No matter who attempts to dissuade you, hold fast to your belief that your genitals are cramped and need to roam free. -
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

The mystery of your parentage will be solved this week when General Motors recalls you and 20,000 of your brothers and sisters. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

The twin spectres of confusion and bankruptcy haunt your life when Robert Duvall confronts you with a prenuptial contract you do not remember signing.
AREA 555 (HA HA HA!)
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This courtroom exchange explains a marriage breakdown perfectly
Miscommunication can cause all sorts of problems – especially in a marriage. This classic courtroom joke follows a judge’s increasingly frustrated attempt to understand why a couple is heading for divorce, only to discover that sometimes the problem isn’t what’s being said… it’s how it’s heard. A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “.
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Eight Food Jokes That Are Almost Too Tasty to Share
Food brings us together – and sometimes it gives us a very good laugh. From kitchen mishaps to our eternal love affair with snacks, these eight food jokes serve up a little humour alongside the everyday realities of eating, cooking and indulging. No calories, no guilt – just a good chuckle or two to brighten your day. What’s a banana’s favorite way to say thank you? Thanks a bunch!
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Daily Joke: The invention of arrogance
A very self-important university student took it upon himself to explain to an elderly man sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. “You grew up in a different world, actually almost a primitive one”, he said in a voice loud enough for many nearby to hear. “We, the young people of today, grew up with television…
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Daily Joke: Grandkids are cheeky
A little girl was sitting on her grandmother’s lap as she read her a book. She repeatedly touched her grandmother’s cheek and then her own, fascinated by the difference. “Grandma,” she asked. “Did God make you?” “Yes, dear,” Grandma replied. “God made me a long time ago.” “Did God make me?” she asked. “Yes, God made you too.” Answered Grandma. “Well, he sure has gotten better over the years…
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Daily Joke: A man knocked on his boss’s door
A man knocked on his boss’s door. The boss invited him to come in and have a seat. “What can I do for you today?” “Well, sir,” said the man, “Can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?” “Certainly not!” said the boss. “It’s our busiest week of the year.” “Thank you so much, sir,” said the man. “I knew you’d understand.”…
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Daily Joke: One day, Suzie’s mother got a call from school
One day, Suzie’s mother got a call from school, asking her to pick Suzie up. When the mother arrived, she rushed to Suzie to check if she was okay. “Are you sick? Are you hurt?” “No,” said Suzie. “They’re just letting me go home early because I was the only one who answered a question in class today.” “That’s amazing!” said Suzie’s mother. “What was the question?” “They asked who threw the rubbish…
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