Man Swallows Fabergé Egg Pendant In Alleged Theft

Police in Auckland, New Zealand had to endure a six day wait to recover evidence in a bizarre theft case involving a James Bond themed piece of jewellery consumed by the accused, although this would have been as nothing compared to the unnamed man’s strain in both attempting to conceal and prevent proof of his alleged wrongdoing revealing itself. It would be unsurprising if he thought it would be No Time To Die, as it must have felt like there was a Goldfinger in his stomach, or even a Thunderball or a Moonraker scratching around his innards, rather than the Octopussy themed pendant he popped in his mouth, and probably scared The Living Daylights out of him. Still the Spectre of the Skyfall-ing out of his rear wasn’t to last long, and he would eventually discover that he would Die Another Day; hopefully this will make him reconsider his actions and realise that The World Is Not Enough to go through anything like that again, and enjoy the Quantum Of Solace he will undoubtedly receive with a custodial sentence.

The man made a court appearance at Auckland District Court on November 29th, when he didn’t enter a plea to a charge of theft. From that point he was in police custody and officers had been stationed round the clock with the man to wait for the evidence to emerge. Inspector Grae Anderson said at that point, “At the time of his arrest he underwent a medical assessment, and an officer is assigned to constantly monitor the man. At this stage the pendant has not been recovered.” Another court appearance was scheduled for December 8th.

Time and digestion finally released another octopus surprise, and on December 5th the police announced that they had recovered the pendant the previous night after it exited the suspect’s gastrointestinal tract naturally without medical intervention. A rather unglamorous photo showing the recovered item was released at the same time, which we are not going to subject our readers to! Rather surprisingly though, both the pendant and it’s price tag had survived the somewhat unpleasant journey undamaged, although no information was given about whether the host for that trip was also unharmed, or if the value of the pendant had dropped as a consequence. Some might say a rather dirty deed…

He said the pendant’s lack of sharp edges and its relatively small size eased his concern. “You worry when things are sharp or they’re wide, talking sort of two, two and a half centimetres, that’s when things start to sort of scrape down and can cause problems and squeeze through. So, I looked at the picture, and I thought that’s just going to require a bit of patience. In other situations, if you’re a little less patient, you can get folks to swallow laxatives or bowel preparation, and things can whip through a lot faster than the usual sort of one to three days a meal might take to come out.” And the lack of damage to the pendant? He explained that the stomach acid PH was around 1.5 or 2, which was not acidic enough to have any kind of effect on the expensive locket.