31 Dad Jokes to Start the Week with a Smile on Your Face
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
Iâll let you knowâ¦
Is there anything worse than when itâs raining cats and dogs?
Yes! Hailing taxis.
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.
Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.
I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus,
but geometry is where I draw the line.
If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Itâs OK, he woke up.
My manager told me to have a good day.
So I didnât go into work.
Whoever stole my depression medication â
I hope youâre happy now.
I lost my job at the bank on my first day.
A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why did the drum go to bed?
It was beat.
What do you call a rude cow?
Beef jerky.
How does a penguin build his house?
Igloos it together.
Which bear is the most condescending?
A pan-duh!
Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
Iâm afraid for the calendar.
Its days are numbered.
Have you ever had a bad sausage?
Itâs the wurst.
What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie?
Sofishticated.
I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda.
It was more of a Fanta sea.
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I donât think it will get a reaction.
I could tell a joke about pizza, but itâs a little cheesy.
I have a joke about construction, but Iâm still working on it.
Whatâs the best kind of bird to work for at a construction company?
A crane.
I used to be addicted to soap, but Iâm clean now.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I donât know y.
I used to be a personal trainer.
Then I gave my too weak notice.
Whatâs the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
âBison!â
What kind of music do chiropractors like?
Hip pop.
Two guys walked into a bar.
The third guy ducked.
Itâs inappropriate to make a dad joke if youâre not a dad.
Itâs a faux pa.
#joke #short
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