1. Why did the crab never share? Because heâs shellfish. 2. Did you hear the rumour about butter? Well, Iâm not going to spread it! 3. What do you call a man who canât stand? Neil. 4. I wouldnât buy anything with velcro. Itâs a total rip-off! 5. Dad, did you get a haircut? No,...
A group of Americans were touring Ireland. One woman in the group was constantly grumbling: The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group reached the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Kissing the Blarney Stone brings good luck all your life,” the...
You matter…Until you multiply yourself by the square of the speed of light.Then you energy. #joke #short Read more on page https://www.jokesoftheday.net
A man driving a Kia stops at a traffic light next to a Rolls-Royce. The Kia driver rolls down his window and calls out to the Rolls-Royce driver, “Hey, pal, that’s an impressive car. Does your Rolls have Wi-Fi? My Kia does!” The Rolls-Royce driver replies, “Yes, it has Wi-Fi.” The Kia driver continues, “Nice!...
I mentioned to my girlfriend that she had drawn her eyebrows a bit too high. She seemed surprised. Mechanic: Your car’s got a flat. Me: It’s called a garage. My girlfriend told me, “If we donât get married soon, Iâm going to kill you!” “I guess.. itâs a matter of wife or death.” #joke #short...
1. Masai Graham: I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta. 2. Mark Simmons: Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s next-day delivery. 3. Olaf Falafel: My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock....
Top ten jokes from the latest Edinburgh Fringe comedy festival 1. Masai Graham: I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta. 2. Mark Simmons: Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s next-day delivery. 3. Olaf Falafel: My attempts to combine...