AWOL

A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with the results. “I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says: “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.” “Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man: “How long have I got?”...

“That guy was so happy that it’s St Patrick’s day, that he was literally bouncing off the walls!”“Who was it?”“Rick O’Shea.” #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

I’m at my boss’s funeral, kneeling and whispering at the coffin…“Who’s thinking outside the box now, Gary?” #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

After 25 years of marriage, I took a look at my wife one day and said: “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black-and-white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blonde. Now, we have a...

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination but found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him. “Listen,” the doctor said, “if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.” “I know,” said the man, “but I...

A man walks into a bar with a monkey in tow. The man sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him a beer and watches the man’s monkey run around along the bar. The monkey grabs a peanut and swallows it whole, then grabs a slice a lime and swallows...