Happy Thursday with fresh new jokes

As a child, I was forced to walk the plank.
We couldn’t afford a dog.

Where does a horse go when it gets sick?
To the horse-pital

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet
It’s a good thing I’m married.

I asked my wife, “Do you think the cup is half full or half empty?”
She said, “Please for the love of God, could you stop wearing my bras!”

I answered the door this morning.
A 6ft beetle punched me in the face and called me a fat twat…
Apparently there’s a nasty bug going round

What a day! The police came around and accused me of stealing my neighbours underwear…
I nearly shit her pants!

#joke

Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net