The Eagle’s Not Landing!PALACE STUNNED AS LIVE EAGLE MASCOT REQUESTS TRANSFER

The Eagle’s Not Landing!

PALACE STUNNED AS LIVE EAGLE MASCOT REQUESTS TRANSFER

Crystal Palace are set to face another key departure from their ranks, with the news that their only remaining attacker, Phoenix the eagle, has submitted a transfer request. This is a devastating blow to the club following the departure of Marc Guehi, and the imminent transfer of Jean-Claude Mateta in this transfer window, and after Ebere Eze’s move to Arsenal last summer. Phoenix has been ever present for the side since his introduction in August 2024, and has been pivotal in the club’s success which culminated in last season’s FA Cup win.

However this season is suddenly turning into a nightmare for Oliver Glasner’s side, with their shock exit in the Third Round of the FA Cup to lowly Macclesfield, and the current exodus of club favourites. The announcement by Phoenix’s representatives of his desire to leave has devastated fans, with one season ticket holder, Simon, writing this on his Facebook page – “Phoenix has been a mainstay for this club ever since he replaced Kayla, and had been soaring to even greater heights, and we had high hopes for him, so to hear this now after everything we have been through is massively disappointing. I can’t see why he would want to leave – he’s at the top of the pecking list here, he has the run of the place and no one is going to knock him off his perch. And even more disappointing is the news that Brighton are interested.”

As well as the reported Brighton interest, there is a strong rumour that the American Bald Eagle is being schmoozed and tempted by US president Donald Trump to represent the USA at this year’s World Cup being co-hosted by them (and beyond), and reports have suggested that Phoenix has a desire to return to his roots, despite being born in the UK. It is believed that the idea was first raised during Trump’s UK visit in September last year, and accusations of ‘tapping up’ have been swirling around, amid reports that Melania Trump may have swung him towards the move with gifts of small rodents, along with a promised trip to Greenland if he signs.

Above: Phoenix prowling the woods around Croydon (Attribution – Michael Gäbler, CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

Should Brighton manage to win Phoenix away though, it will likely be because they can offer guaranteed British seaside chips on tap, plus if the rumours about Phoenix’s “gender preferences” and left-leaning political persuasion are true, they may hold the upper hand over both the Americans and Palace in getting the deal done. The only major drawback in the potential Brighton move will be the need for Phoenix to wear a special costume and have his feathers dyed to make him look like a seagull, as the supporters are likely to welcome him with open arms and joyful glee if they can remove Palace’s taloned talisman, and they will be egging their club on to do so.

If Palace sanction the move, they will at least have the small consolation that there is a minimum fee stipulated in the contract that Phoenix and his representatives, Legal Eagles, signed, although this remains undisclosed at present. And the local supporters may take a crumb of comfort that Phoenix’s rumoured involvement in disappearances and mutilations of the neighbourhood’s cats could come to an end, with the “Croydon Cat killer” story widely reported worldwide, such as in Metro and Deutsche Welle.

Share in your network:

Related Posts

Contact Us

Please use this form for any questions, comments or other feedback you have about the Hua Hin Citizen Journal, AWOL, or our parent company, SentLive. You do not have to be registered or logged in to use this form but you are required to enter your email address.

Choose the type of ad you want to book

Ads can only start on either the 1st or 15th of any month, and are also date limited based on what other current or future ad bookings have already been made, and your date options may change by selecting different ad types, duration, page, position or section accordingly.

Choose one - writing means we will produce the advertorial for you with images and information you supply, editing means we will edit the article you provide for errors and suitability, and suggest and implement improvements with your agreement. Please see the extra fees listed on the site for these options, and please also note that payment for the ad and the writing or editing will have to be made in advance. If you choose Neither, no advance payment is required, but the submission could be rejected if there are errors (e.g. spelling or grammar) and would need to be amended by you. If we deem that the product or service being advertised is unsuitable for our site, we will reject the submission and refund any monies paid.

Please upload your ad design here. Only one image allowed, less than 2MB, jpg, jpeg or png files only Ad designs must be as close to the following sizes or proportions: Desktop/Tablet Banner: 728x90px (Width to height is about 8:1 (e.g., 8 units wide for every 1 unit tall) Mobile Banner instructions in a separate upload field (do not upload here). Box: 300 x 250px (Width to height is about 5:6 (e.g., 5 units wide for every 6 units tall) Sponsored Section: 350x140px (Width to height is about 5:2 (e.g., 5 units wide for every 2 units tall)

Please upload your Mobile Banner ad design only here. Only one image allowed, less than 2MB, jpg, jpeg or png files only Design must be as close as possible to the following size or proportions; Mobile Banner: 360px wide by 182px tall (Width to height is about 2:1 (e.g., 2 units wide for every 1 unit tall)

Please upload any images that you think will assist us in designing your ad for you, such as your logo, photo(s) of the sign outside your premises, anything that will help us match colours etc. Please upload at least one image.

Please upload the main image that you want included in your Advertorial. No specific sizes or proportions but we recommend a landscape image for the best layout.

Please upload the image(s) that you want included in your Advertorial. Please upload at least one image. If you are uploading several images and are providing the article text yourself, please indicate in that text where you want these images to appear within the article.

Please enter the text of your advertorial here, and include an indication for the preferred location for each image supplied within the text; if you are happy for us to position images as we think best, please either note this or give no indication.

Please enter any relevant information or notes regarding your ad. If you are paying for us to design your ad then this should include anything you want included in the ad (e.g. contact information, opening times), but please bear in mind the space available for this.

This will be used so that readers seeing your ad can click on it to visit your site or social media page. We recommend adding this to increase the interest in your business.

<div class="quform-availability-message"></div>

Submit Your Classified Ad

The date to start your ad

Choose the most relevant category

Maximum 30 characters
No character limit
One image only
Price: 0 THB

Directory Listings Submission Form

Please fill in the form below and submit it for approval; once we have reviewed it we will send you an email; if approved this will include payment instructions, otherwise we will inform you either why it has been rejected and/or changes that need to be made for approval.

Please select one or more category that matches your organisation

Please select the type of organisation you are listing; please ONLY select Charity or Non Profit if this genuinely represents what you do, and are able to provide some evidence for this in the next step.

Please upload a document or file that proves your charity or non profit status - this is optional but will help us decide whether you qualify for a free listing

If you select 'No', you will not be able to enter any location or opening hours details, so will need to type these into either the Description or Additional Info fields if you want this information visible to the public

Please choose the closest major landmark to your location

Please enter for accurate map location

Please enter so map location is accurate

Please enter the hours your business is open to customers

If you are an existing advertiser, please enter the code that you were sent when your ad payment was confirmed to claim your free listing; each code can only be used once, and can only be applied to a listing for that advertiser. This will be checked after submission, and if the code is invalid you will need to pay for the listing to be published.

Please choose Other if your event repeats but on a different schedule (e.g. twice a week); you can enter details in the next section

Please describe the recurring pattern that your event follows