A woman was greeted by a knock and opened her door to find a distressed man on her porch. Apologising profusely, he said, “I’m so sorry. I accidentally ran over your cat and I feel terrible about it. I’d like to replace it for you.” The woman sighed and shook her head, then responded, “Well, if that’s the case, I suppose it’s fine… but how good are…
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One day, a man went to see his doctor and told him that he hadn’t been feeling well. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor said: “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another large glass of…
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An old man was walking through a park one day when he heard a woman’s voice calling for help. He turned around, but there was only a frog sitting at the edge of a pond. “Help me,” said the frog. “I must be going mad,” the man said. “You’re not going mad,” said the frog. “I was the one who asked for help. I used to be a beautiful young princess but a witch put a spell on me.” The man picked up the…
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A man was driving home one day, when his wife called his mobile. “You need to watch out!” the woman said. “They’re saying on the radio that a madman is driving the wrong way down the freeway!” “Well, they’re wrong about that!” the man said. “There’s not just one – there are hundreds of them!”…
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Circumcision + Small Hat = Violence

Q: What has three balls and comes from outer space?
A: E.T. the extra testicle.