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Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

An in-depth study will reveal that, contrary to popular belief, bedbugs are great and you are the problem. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

Nothing of note will happen to you this week, as the dozens of people you’ll tell about it will be able to attest.
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Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

Your triumphant exit from the worst job you’ve ever had is spoiled when a wino drenches you in flammable vodka vomit and sets you on fire with a menthol cigarette. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

You are a person of uncommon vision. No matter who attempts to dissuade you, hold fast to your belief that your genitals are cramped and need to roam free. -
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

The mystery of your parentage will be solved this week when General Motors recalls you and 20,000 of your brothers and sisters. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

The twin spectres of confusion and bankruptcy haunt your life when Robert Duvall confronts you with a prenuptial contract you do not remember signing.
AREA 555 (HA HA HA!)
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Seven jokes about petrol prices you just have to laugh at
Petrol prices have reached the point where filling up feels less like a routine stop and more like a financial decision that requires a moment of silent reflection. Every trip to the pump now comes with a deep sigh, a quick mental budget recalculation, and the faint hope the numbers might somehow stop climbing. So if you can’t beat the prices, you might as well laugh at them –.
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Nine gambling jokes to remember on your next punt
Gambling might be all about risk, luck, and chasing the big win – but sometimes the real jackpot is finding the funny side when things don’t quite go to plan. From “sure things” that weren’t to those almost moments, there’s no shortage of stories that are equal parts painful and hilarious. So place your bets, keep your expectations low, and enjoy these jokes – because at least laughter…
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This courtroom exchange explains a marriage breakdown perfectly
Miscommunication can cause all sorts of problems – especially in a marriage. This classic courtroom joke follows a judge’s increasingly frustrated attempt to understand why a couple is heading for divorce, only to discover that sometimes the problem isn’t what’s being said… it’s how it’s heard. A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “.
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Eight Food Jokes That Are Almost Too Tasty to Share
Food brings us together – and sometimes it gives us a very good laugh. From kitchen mishaps to our eternal love affair with snacks, these eight food jokes serve up a little humour alongside the everyday realities of eating, cooking and indulging. No calories, no guilt – just a good chuckle or two to brighten your day. What’s a banana’s favorite way to say thank you? Thanks a bunch!
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5 Husband and Wife jokes that are uncomfortably relatable
Marriage is many things: a partnership, a compromise, a lifelong negotiation – and occasionally, an endless source of comedy. Whether you’ve been married for five years or fifty, there’s something comforting about jokes that gently poke fun at the everyday realities of life with the person you love most (and sometimes argue with the most). These five husband and wife jokes are all in good…
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Five hilarious proposal jokes that prove romance doesn’t always go to plan
Proposals are meant to be romantic, heartfelt and unforgettable – but sometimes they’re unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. From popped balloons and forgotten “yeses” to family surprises no one saw coming, these five proposal jokes remind us that love is rarely tidy… and often very funny. If you enjoy a laugh about romance, marriage and the quirks of long-term relationships…


