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Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

An in-depth study will reveal that, contrary to popular belief, bedbugs are great and you are the problem. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

Nothing of note will happen to you this week, as the dozens of people you’ll tell about it will be able to attest.
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Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

Your triumphant exit from the worst job you’ve ever had is spoiled when a wino drenches you in flammable vodka vomit and sets you on fire with a menthol cigarette. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

You are a person of uncommon vision. No matter who attempts to dissuade you, hold fast to your belief that your genitals are cramped and need to roam free. -
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

The mystery of your parentage will be solved this week when General Motors recalls you and 20,000 of your brothers and sisters. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

The twin spectres of confusion and bankruptcy haunt your life when Robert Duvall confronts you with a prenuptial contract you do not remember signing.
AREA 555 (HA HA HA!)
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Five Fresh Jokes to Brighten Your Day – Including a Restaurant adults Will Love
Sometimes all you need is a quick giggle to turn the day around – and these five jokes deliver exactly that. From cheeky wordplay to classic groan-worthy punchlines, this mix of food gags and clever twists is guaranteed to raise a smile. Whether you’re sharing them with the grandkids or keeping them up your sleeve for your next catch-up with friends, there’s something here for everyone. I&#
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Say Cheese! A Fridge Full of Grate Cheese Jokes to Make You Melt
There are cheesy jokes… and then there are jokes that are actually about cheese. Today, we’re opening the fridge door and serving up a dairy-delight collection of brie-lliant puns, gouda gags and mature humour that’s anything but bland. Whether you’re a fan of sharp one-liners or something a little more crumbly, these jokes are guaranteed to make you smile – no matter how bleu you’re feeling.
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Daily Joke: A broken tooth, a big question, and a good laugh
A patient sits in the dentist’s chair with severely fractured front teeth. After discussing with the dentist how they will be restored and what the fee will be, the patient says: “Before you start, I have to know Doc, will I be able to play the clarinet when you are finished?” “Of course you will!” the dentist happily answers. The patient sighs in relief and says: “Oh that’s great, I couldn’t play…
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Daily Joke: The secret to living to 100
Asked by a reporter how he had managed to live to the age of 100, an old man explained: “Well, son, I got married when I was 21. The wife and I decided that if ever we argued the loser should take a long walk to cool off. “So I guess I’ve benefited from 79 years of fresh air”.
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Daily Joke: Husband puts his wife’s hearing to the test
A husband began wondering if his wife had a hearing problem as they were struggling to communicate. One day, he decided to put her to the test. While his wife was sitting down watching the television, he crept up behind her. “Honey, can you hear me?” He whispered from a bit of a distance. After no response he crept up a bit closer and said a bit louder: “Honey, can you hear me?
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Daily Joke: A young man visits the supermarket
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. When he reached the checkout line he realised the old lady was in front of him in line. “Pardon me,” she turned around and said to the young man. “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel…


