Brought to you by
Choice of Easy, Medium, or Hard Sudoku for your entertainment (or frustration!). Finish the puzzle and click ‘New Game’ or refresh the page to load new puzzles, or come back tomorrow!
A new crossword every day!
The classic game of patience
Read the Klondike (Turn Three) rules if you’re new to playing Solitaire
Fancy yourself as a chess master? Try out our daily chess puzzle!
Brought to you by
-
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your HoroscopesAries | March 21 to April 19
An in-depth study will reveal that, contrary to popular belief, bedbugs are great and you are the problem. Taurus | April 20 to May 20
Nothing of note will happen to you this week, as the dozens of people you’ll tell about it will be able to attest. (more…)Gemini | May 21 to June 20
The universal redshift indicates that the stars are flying away from us at astounding velocities. Perhaps it is more accurate to say “from you.” Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Venus rising in your sign sounds like a welcome harbinger of romantic good tidings, but the zodiac assures you it’s merely decorative.
-
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your HoroscopesAries | March 21 to April 19
Your triumphant exit from the worst job you’ve ever had is spoiled when a wino drenches you in flammable vodka vomit and sets you on fire with a menthol cigarette. Taurus | April 20 to May 20
You are a person of uncommon vision. No matter who attempts to dissuade you, hold fast to your belief that your genitals are cramped and need to roam free. (more…)Gemini | May 21 to June 20
The stars are peeved that you didn’t renew your subscription to Sky & Telescope magazine, so expect a fat, painful cyst on your ass. Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Take comfort that your funeral next Friday will set attendance records at Radio City Music Hall, as all of New York celebrates. -
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your HoroscopesAries | March 21 to April 19
The mystery of your parentage will be solved this week when General Motors recalls you and 20,000 of your brothers and sisters. Taurus | April 20 to May 20
The twin spectres of confusion and bankruptcy haunt your life when Robert Duvall confronts you with a prenuptial contract you do not remember signing. (more…)Gemini | May 21 to June 20
You run afoul of the school board this week when you refuse to answer its questions about the space-heaters installed in your children’s lungs. Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Despite repeated sacrifices to Venus, no loss of virginity is scheduled for you this week.
AREA 555 (HA HA HA!)
If the full joke doesn’t show, please click the title to see it (opens in a new page/tab)
-
5 Funny Police Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
There’s something timeless about a good police joke. Maybe it’s the flashing lights, the awkward excuses, or the classic “Do you know why I pulled you over?” moment – the setup is always ripe for a clever twist. If you’re in the mood for some light-hearted humour (strictly harmless, of course), here are five police jokes guaranteed to raise a smile. Five year old Little Johnny was lost…
-
The Golfing Wish That Backfired: A Frog, Three Wishes … and One Very Clever Wife
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes.” The woman freed the frog and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes – that whatever you wish for…
-
Daily Joke: A dinner date takes an awkward turn
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. The wife asks: “Do you know her?” “Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’.
-
Daily Joke: A married couple enjoy a night under the stars
An old married couple were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night the wife woke her husband up and said: “Look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.” The husband replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.” The wife said: “And what do you make of that?” The husband replied: “.
-
Daily Joke: Crossing the road takes a shocking turn
A man was crossing the road when a car came straight for him. He jumped back just in the knick of time as the car sped past him. A police officer was watching from the corner and ran over to help. “My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!” the shaken man said the cop. “The car came at you from behind,” the officer said. “How could you tell it was your mother-in-law…
-
Daily Joke: A wife loses her husband at the shops
A married couple were out shopping. Everywhere was packed, and as the wife wandered around, she lost her husband in the crowd. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. She became so worried that she called him to ask where he was. In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewellers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t…