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Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

An in-depth study will reveal that, contrary to popular belief, bedbugs are great and you are the problem. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

Nothing of note will happen to you this week, as the dozens of people you’ll tell about it will be able to attest.
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Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

Your triumphant exit from the worst job you’ve ever had is spoiled when a wino drenches you in flammable vodka vomit and sets you on fire with a menthol cigarette. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

You are a person of uncommon vision. No matter who attempts to dissuade you, hold fast to your belief that your genitals are cramped and need to roam free. -
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

The mystery of your parentage will be solved this week when General Motors recalls you and 20,000 of your brothers and sisters. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

The twin spectres of confusion and bankruptcy haunt your life when Robert Duvall confronts you with a prenuptial contract you do not remember signing.
AREA 555 (HA HA HA!)
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Eight Food Jokes That Are Almost Too Tasty to Share
Food brings us together – and sometimes it gives us a very good laugh. From kitchen mishaps to our eternal love affair with snacks, these eight food jokes serve up a little humour alongside the everyday realities of eating, cooking and indulging. No calories, no guilt – just a good chuckle or two to brighten your day. What’s a banana’s favorite way to say thank you? Thanks a bunch!
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5 Husband and Wife jokes that are uncomfortably relatable
Marriage is many things: a partnership, a compromise, a lifelong negotiation – and occasionally, an endless source of comedy. Whether you’ve been married for five years or fifty, there’s something comforting about jokes that gently poke fun at the everyday realities of life with the person you love most (and sometimes argue with the most). These five husband and wife jokes are all in good…
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Daily Joke: The wedding question a dad will never forget
A father realised his 10-year-old son had been watching too many reality TV shows the day they attended a relative’s wedding. As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle toward the front of the church, the boy turned to his father and asked: “Is this where the groom decides which one he wants to marry?”…
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Daily Joke: Teacher’s quiz goes hilariously off track
The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said: “That’s a sheep!” “That’s right!” said the teacher. “How about this one?” she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts. “That’s a lion!” answered a little boy. “Right!” said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer.
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Daily Joke: Doctor’s diagnosis gets a dose of humour
A patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of a recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum. “I can’t be sure what’s wrong with you,” the doctor said. “I think it’s the drinking.” “Okay,” the patient said. “Can we get an opinion from a doctor who’s sober?”.
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Daily Joke: One late night, a cold, and a brutally honest wife
One late night, a husband had a terrible, stuffy head cold and yet was talkative. The wife was exhausted and wanted to sleep. He said: “I am so stuffed up, if I closed my mouth, I would choke”. The wife replied: “It’s a risk I am willing to take!”…
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