Brought to you by
Choice of Easy, Medium, or Hard Sudoku for your entertainment (or frustration!). Finish the puzzle and click ‘New Game’ or refresh the page to load new puzzles, or come back tomorrow!
A new crossword every day!
The classic game of patience
Read the Klondike (Turn Three) rules if you’re new to playing Solitaire
Fancy yourself as a chess master? Try out our daily chess puzzle!
Brought to you by
-
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your HoroscopesAries | March 21 to April 19
An in-depth study will reveal that, contrary to popular belief, bedbugs are great and you are the problem. Taurus | April 20 to May 20
Nothing of note will happen to you this week, as the dozens of people you’ll tell about it will be able to attest. (more…)Gemini | May 21 to June 20
The universal redshift indicates that the stars are flying away from us at astounding velocities. Perhaps it is more accurate to say “from you.” Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Venus rising in your sign sounds like a welcome harbinger of romantic good tidings, but the zodiac assures you it’s merely decorative.
-
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your HoroscopesAries | March 21 to April 19
Your triumphant exit from the worst job you’ve ever had is spoiled when a wino drenches you in flammable vodka vomit and sets you on fire with a menthol cigarette. Taurus | April 20 to May 20
You are a person of uncommon vision. No matter who attempts to dissuade you, hold fast to your belief that your genitals are cramped and need to roam free. (more…)Gemini | May 21 to June 20
The stars are peeved that you didn’t renew your subscription to Sky & Telescope magazine, so expect a fat, painful cyst on your ass. Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Take comfort that your funeral next Friday will set attendance records at Radio City Music Hall, as all of New York celebrates. -
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your HoroscopesAries | March 21 to April 19
The mystery of your parentage will be solved this week when General Motors recalls you and 20,000 of your brothers and sisters. Taurus | April 20 to May 20
The twin spectres of confusion and bankruptcy haunt your life when Robert Duvall confronts you with a prenuptial contract you do not remember signing. (more…)Gemini | May 21 to June 20
You run afoul of the school board this week when you refuse to answer its questions about the space-heaters installed in your children’s lungs. Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Despite repeated sacrifices to Venus, no loss of virginity is scheduled for you this week.
AREA 555 (HA HA HA!)
If the full joke doesn’t show, please click the title to see it (opens in a new page/tab)
-
6 light-hearted prison jokes that prove laughter can be found anywhere
Prison isn’t usually a topic associated with humour. It’s a serious subject, and for many people, a difficult one. But sometimes, comedy finds its way into even the most unlikely settings. Wordplay, misunderstandings and clever punchlines can take the edge off heavier themes – without making light of real-life hardship. Here are six classic, harmless prison-themed jokes that rely more on wit…
-
15 short jokes to cheer you up
There’s something about rainy days that makes everything feel a little slower. The washing won’t dry, the dog refuses to go outside, and even the kettle seems to take longer to boil. But if we can’t control the weather, we can at least improve our mood. So while the rain taps on the windows and the sky stays stubbornly grey, here are 15 short jokes to lift your spirits. They’re quick…
-
Daily Joke: The funniest marriage advice you’ll hear today
I once asked a friend how he and his spouse managed to maintain a happy marriage for 52 years, and he told me, “We never go to bed angry.” I thought it was a great idea and said, “I should try that too.” “Yes,” he replied. “The longest we’ve been awake so far is five days.” PS: If you missed yesterday’s joke, you can catch it here.
-
Daily Joke: A man’s prayer for a parking spot takes a humorous turn
A man is looking for a parking space but he is having absolutely no luck. As he drives around he begins to desperately pray to God. “Please God, if you find me a parking spot I promise I will go to church every Sunday and never touch a drop of alcohol again!” A moment later the man sees a parking spot open up right next to the entrance. He gasps and heads toward it. “Never mind.
-
Daily Joke: The wedding question a dad will never forget
A father realised his 10-year-old son had been watching too many reality TV shows the day they attended a relative’s wedding. As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle toward the front of the church, the boy turned to his father and asked: “Is this where the groom decides which one he wants to marry?”…
Source -
Daily Joke: Teacher’s quiz goes hilariously off track
The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said: “That’s a sheep!” “That’s right!” said the teacher. “How about this one?” she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts. “That’s a lion!” answered a little boy. “Right!” said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer.
Source