Brought to you by
Choice of Easy, Medium, or Hard Sudoku for your entertainment (or frustration!). Finish the puzzle and click ‘New Game’ or refresh the page to load new puzzles, or come back tomorrow!
A new crossword every day!
The classic game of patience
Read the Klondike (Turn Three) rules if you’re new to playing Solitaire
Fancy yourself as a chess master? Try out our daily chess puzzle!
Brought to you by
-
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your HoroscopesAries | March 21 to April 19
An in-depth study will reveal that, contrary to popular belief, bedbugs are great and you are the problem. Taurus | April 20 to May 20
Nothing of note will happen to you this week, as the dozens of people you’ll tell about it will be able to attest. (more…)Gemini | May 21 to June 20
The universal redshift indicates that the stars are flying away from us at astounding velocities. Perhaps it is more accurate to say “from you.” Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Venus rising in your sign sounds like a welcome harbinger of romantic good tidings, but the zodiac assures you it’s merely decorative.
-
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your HoroscopesAries | March 21 to April 19
Your triumphant exit from the worst job you’ve ever had is spoiled when a wino drenches you in flammable vodka vomit and sets you on fire with a menthol cigarette. Taurus | April 20 to May 20
You are a person of uncommon vision. No matter who attempts to dissuade you, hold fast to your belief that your genitals are cramped and need to roam free. (more…)Gemini | May 21 to June 20
The stars are peeved that you didn’t renew your subscription to Sky & Telescope magazine, so expect a fat, painful cyst on your ass. Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Take comfort that your funeral next Friday will set attendance records at Radio City Music Hall, as all of New York celebrates. -
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your HoroscopesAries | March 21 to April 19
The mystery of your parentage will be solved this week when General Motors recalls you and 20,000 of your brothers and sisters. Taurus | April 20 to May 20
The twin spectres of confusion and bankruptcy haunt your life when Robert Duvall confronts you with a prenuptial contract you do not remember signing. (more…)Gemini | May 21 to June 20
You run afoul of the school board this week when you refuse to answer its questions about the space-heaters installed in your children’s lungs. Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Despite repeated sacrifices to Venus, no loss of virginity is scheduled for you this week.
AREA 555 (HA HA HA!)
If the full joke doesn’t show, please click the title to see it (opens in a new page/tab)
-
Nine high-voltage energy gags to brighten your day
Ready to get amped up? Energy is the hot topic worldwide at the moment and as it’s mostly bad news, we’ve sparked a few jokes that will shock you into a laugh. Whether you’re switched on to science or just looking for a light-hearted charge, plug in and enjoy a collection of jokes guaranteed to generate some serious watt-age in the giggle department. From bright sparks and flowing…
-
Eight Sunday jokes to share with the family
Sundays are for slowing down… unless you have grandchildren. Then they’re for stepping on Lego, negotiating screen time like a hostage situation, and wondering how a “quick trip to the park” somehow required three snacks, two costume changes and a full emotional breakdown. Welcome to our collection of funny Sunday family activity jokes — because if you can’t get peace and quiet, you might as well…
-
Daily Joke: When man’s best friend becomes his chess rival
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. The man watched the game in amazement for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he said. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “He’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.”.
-
Daily Joke: The exam excuse that didn’t quite go to plan
Four university students decided to have a big party the night before an important exam. However, after a long night of drinking, they ended up missing it the next day. Nervous about what their professor was going to say, they simply told him they missed the exam because they had a flat tyre. Thankfully, the professor agreed the students could make up the final the next day.
-
Daily Joke: A routine check-up turns into comedy gold
A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied: “Shingles.” So she wrote down his name, address and phone number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse came out and asked the man what he had. The man said: “Shingles.” So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.
-
Daily Joke: The funniest marriage advice you’ll hear today
I once asked a friend how he and his spouse managed to maintain a happy marriage for 52 years, and he told me, “We never go to bed angry.” I thought it was a great idea and said, “I should try that too.” “Yes,” he replied. “The longest we’ve been awake so far is five days.” PS: If you missed yesterday’s joke, you can catch it here.