A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” Annie replied, “Because people are sleeping.”.

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A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place . . . The man says, ‘What’s the problem, Officer?’ Officer: ‘You were going at least 80 in a 60-zone.’ Man: ‘No Sir, I was going 60.’ Wife: ‘Oh, Harry, you were going 80.’ (The man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer: ‘I’m also going to…

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An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him. When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?” The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, “.

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Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head. He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. “He’s not my husband,” she says. He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. “He’s not my husband either.” He passes by the third woman…

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Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was making her rounds. She was visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann…

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Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. “This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?” “No, Madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.”.

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