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Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

An in-depth study will reveal that, contrary to popular belief, bedbugs are great and you are the problem. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

Nothing of note will happen to you this week, as the dozens of people you’ll tell about it will be able to attest.
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Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

Your triumphant exit from the worst job you’ve ever had is spoiled when a wino drenches you in flammable vodka vomit and sets you on fire with a menthol cigarette. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

You are a person of uncommon vision. No matter who attempts to dissuade you, hold fast to your belief that your genitals are cramped and need to roam free. -
Your Horoscopes
Read more: Your Horoscopes(more…)Aries | March 21 to April 19

The mystery of your parentage will be solved this week when General Motors recalls you and 20,000 of your brothers and sisters. Taurus | April 20 to May 20

The twin spectres of confusion and bankruptcy haunt your life when Robert Duvall confronts you with a prenuptial contract you do not remember signing.
AREA 555 (HA HA HA!)
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The birthday girl on the cruise ship orders scotch and two drops of water
She’s 80, she’s celebrating, and she knows exactly what she can and can’t hold. A woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and she asks the bartender for a scotch and two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink, she says, “It’s my birthday today, and I’m on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday.” The bartender says, “Well, since it’.
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Five jokes about being lost — and the punchline you absolutely did not see coming
There is a particular kind of joke that makes you groan so loudly that people in the next room ask if you are alright. These are those jokes. Five of them, all loosely connected by the theme of losing things – watches, sight, jobs, tourists, and any remaining sense of dignity. The tour guide one is possibly the darkest joke we have ever published. The cemetery one is a close second.
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A good laugh is a winner: The funniest sports jokes to share this week
Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just enjoy the occasional game, there’s something about sport that brings out the humour in all of us. From cricket one-liners to tennis puns and a State of Origin mishap you won’t forget in a hurry, these jokes prove that sometimes the funniest moments happen off the field. So sit back, have a chuckle, and maybe share one with a mate –.
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Wheelie good laughs: The best bicycle jokes to keep you rolling
There’s something about a good old-fashioned joke that never goes out of style – especially when it involves a few terrible puns and a healthy dose of silliness. Whether you’re a cycling enthusiast or just along for the ride, these bicycle jokes are guaranteed to keep the laughs rolling (and yes, some of them are delightfully bad). Q: Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own? A:
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5 Wedding Ring Jokes That Might Be a Little Too Close to Home
Marriage comes with its fair share of memorable moments — some heartfelt, some challenging, and some best laughed about later. These wedding ring jokes take a light-hearted look at relationships, commitment, and the little ironies that can come with married life. A bit cheeky and slightly irreverent, they’re perfect for sharing with friends who appreciate humour that’s just a touch on the honest…
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Nine high-voltage energy gags to brighten your day
Ready to get amped up? Energy is the hot topic worldwide at the moment and as it’s mostly bad news, we’ve sparked a few jokes that will shock you into a laugh. Whether you’re switched on to science or just looking for a light-hearted charge, plug in and enjoy a collection of jokes guaranteed to generate some serious watt-age in the giggle department. From bright sparks and flowing…


