The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said: “That’s a sheep!” “That’s right!” said the teacher. “How about this one?” she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts. “That’s a lion!” answered a little boy. “Right!” said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer.
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A young man wanted to purchase a very special gift for his new girlfriend. They hadn’t been dating for very long and he wanted to get her the perfect present. After giving it a lot of thought, he decided to get her a new pair of gloves. He went to the store with his sister, who happened to be buying a new pair of panties at the same time. They went to the same check-out and the man behind the…
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It was a baby mosquito’s first day flying out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, “How was your journey?” The baby mosquito replied, “It went great, everyone was clapping for me!”…
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A blonde calls a pharmacy to ask if she needs an infant scale to weigh a baby. “No, not at all,” says the clerk. “Most mothers figure out an infant’s weight by weighing themselves while holding the baby and then subtracting their own weight.” “Oh, that won’t work,” says the blonde. “I’m not the mother—I’m the aunt.”…
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Last year, I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double pane energy efficient kind. But this week, I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year and I had yet to pay for them. Boy, oh boy, did we go around! Just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his…
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