AWOL

A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained, “You can’t park anywhere near this place!” #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

The owner of a company tells his employees, “You worked very hard this year, therefore the company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I’m giving everyone a check for $5,000!”Thrilled, the employees gather round and high five one another.“And if you work with the same zeal next year, I’ll sign those checks!” #joke Read more...

A Prius just tried to race me at the light…I totally had it for the first 100 meters, but I can only walk so fast. #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

A man offers a girl in his office $1,000 to sleep with him. “I’ll put the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be done by the time you pick it up,” he explains. The girl consults her boyfriend who advises her to go ahead but to pick up the money really fast....

Today is National National Caramel Day (USA). Have a Caramel, or few! My girlfriend likes to tie me to the bed and cover me in chocolate and caramel She’s a dominatwix I like my women how I like my coffee. Medium cold, French Vanilla and Caramel Swirl, Regular. How did the hipster burn his mouth?...

It is International Carrot Day! Have a carrot! What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! Why did the carrot get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field! Why do carrots never start a fight? Because they always turnip the beet! What do you call a carrot that insults other vegetables? A...

Today is World Party Day! Have a party! A guy showed up at his friend’s costume party carrying a woman on his back. The host asked, “What on earth are you dressed as?” The guy replied, “I’m a snail.” The host, looking puzzled, said, “How can you be a snail when all you have is...